Saturday, August 7, 2010

Moving Closer To The End

Is the time here now, is this the beginning of her final journey..

She ate no more then a small dish of her pudding yesterday, and nothing so far today and it is early afternoon. 

Much more sleeping or dozing now, all though she did watch most of a new movie I just got for her.

The mourning process has accelerated for me now, tears flow easy.

I know dad is getting anxious for his love to come home.

Not sure how to fill that empty spot that is already growing inside my heart, that mommy spot.

With all those I talk with online, I can find no one to talk with or write back and forth with.  I am alone.  No family or friends here to sit with me, have coffee, allow me the luxury of really letting it all out.  No, just me, the cats and mom.

Maybe she will eat a little tonight as it was last night that she finally opened up her mouth to receive some nourishment.

Nourishment, I sure have written quite a bit about that these last several years.

I have found a beautiful container for mom's remains, we will bring them to the Ohio River, where she loved to swim.


  1. It might not be the end. I know Mom was there a few months ago and now she is back to her normal. I am less worried about her than you. So many feelings to deal with. When it was me I said no it is not the end and would not let them take mom to the hospice home . Than I thought if they had of took her I could of relaxed . slept all night and than I was mad at myself for thinking that. You can email me if you want to write more. I can't promise what I write back will help you but you know I am in the same boat as you. Praying for you .

  2. It is a lovely container for your mom. My neice passed away the day before yesterday and the family is debating on her service. She was my Brothers oldest daughter. Years of drug abuse and 3 babies she did not raise. But she was still his baby and she needs a nice service. God rest her soul.

  3. My heart goes out to you Donna, sending you love and hugs. I wish I lived nearby, I would come and sit with you, let you talk and cry.

    You and your mum are in my prayers.

    God Bless you both.


  4. The container you chose is so pretty,Donna! As much as my Mother and I bicker, I know I will miss her terribly when her time comes! You and your mother are in my prayers and know that you are NOT alone! We have a Father who watched His most precious Son suffer and die. You and your mom will be raised up just as Jesus was. God promises us that!

  5. Donna -keep thinking of that wonderful welcome your Mom is going to receive and try and be strong; thinking of you and wishing you comfort x

  6. Oh Donna.......I wish we were neighbors, and we could laugh and cry together, and help one another through the hard times. Please know that you and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.
    The container you've chosen is beautiful!

  7. Dear Donna, I'm thinking of you this morning. Your blogs have been there for me for a long time. I lost my dad on the 31st and it happened so fast. July 1st we found out he had a mass in his lung, fluid removed on the 19th then home with Hospice for just 11 days before he passed. I held one of his hands and my brother held his other while he left. I was his caregiver for almost 4 years, part time as my home is 100 miles from his, then full time for awhile. I knew one day he would be gone and everyone had told me there is life after caregiving. There is, it's a different life than I had before . I am stronger, wiser , and proud of how I took care of my dad. I miss him today and always will, but because of him I am a better person. I hope you have a good day today. There is peace again one day for us. You and your mom are in my prayers.