Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Kym Saw Me - I'm Not Invisible

I recently wrote a blog titled ‘Invisible People’, it was written as a result of an ‘experiment’ I did on facebook.
One of my facebook friends, Kym, who is also a dear friend from my church, posted on Feb.22 that there were free pancakes being given away at a ihop the next day, and who wanted to go with. As I wrote in the blog ‘Invisible People’ I said I did, but I couldn’t because my husband was not here so I couldn’t leave the house.
I am posting the ‘Invisible People’ along with this, to show the background for what happened next.........
Invisible People

Something triggered this thought recently, I can't say what it was, but the thought was that as caregivers, we are invisible people. We aren't seen, aren't heard from aren't thought about. Not all caregivers are in that category, but I'd be interested in doing a poll to see just how many felt that way!

I inadvertently tested this out earlier this week. A national restaurant was offering free pancakes, and one of my facebook friends posted that she was going to go the next morning to get some and who wanted to go? I said memememe! Of course I couldn't go, but I thought I would post on my facebook about the free pancakes and I would like some, who would like to bring some to me? As usual, higher then practical expectations develop! I did get a couple comments on it, but no real takers to see to it I could have some pancakes. Everyone, family and friends within a 50 mile radius know I am a caregiver, and most know I get out of the house very little.

I am in no ways traumatized by any of this, but I did find it interesting. There are those who I know think about me and mom, but how many there are that do not, and how many there are that do not call to see how we are and do we need anything, any help? Again it seems to come back to the, it is all up to me to ask others for help. But this pancake thing, I was all but screaming out, won't someone please see me, here I am, my husband is out of town, it is just me and mom, and I would really just love to have someone bring me some pancakes. Sigh (just did that).

So, other caregivers, do you feel like one of the invisible people, and if so, in what way?
I received numerous responses to this post from caregivers who felt invisible like I did, and also many offered to bring me pancakes, if they could! They knew what I was feeling and the common bonds that link caregivers were evident in this situation.
Then….Kym asked me several days later if I had gotten my pancakes, I said no I hadn’t. She asked me if I was going to be in church Sunday, or my husband. I told her it would be Gary, it was his turn. She said she would bring them on Monday to choir practice then. I was a bit surprised to say the least, and really did not expect that to happen, but you know, it is the thought that counts, right?
On Monday Kym and I were chatting on facebook, and she asked if I liked thin or thick pancakes, I said thick…and off she went to make pancakes…for me! Well, I thought I was getting pancakes that night, she said so, but it was one of those ‘I’ll believe it when I see it things’ because how many people have even offered to do things at all for me that were really needed! Here was someone doing something as simple as making pancakes for me! Oh yes, in the other blog, I made reference to family and friends in a 50 mile radius who knew of my situation….she is about 50.
Kym, saw and met a need out of the kindness of her heart! Kym took time out of her busy day, time away from family activities, for me! She saw my request; she saw and heard the need. But the need was not for pancakes, but to be seen, to not be invisible! When I shared with her Monday night what her act of kindness really meant and accomplished, it was a ‘special moment’ for both of us. She didn’t realize the impact her making pancakes for me, would have, and the hope it would bring to me. Hope that maybe others would see me too, and not just me, but hope for all caregivers who feel like they are not seen by family and friends!
It is the little things that mean a lot, not the big overwhelming, don’t have time for or can’t afford to do for you things. The little, seemingly insignificant things!
As you can see by the photo,  Kym blessed me with the most beautiful batch of pancakes ever!
I know that God has a special blessing for Kym, because she has blessed me!
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  1. Yea, It's so good to read that you have such a thoughtful and caring friend. I'm sure you really enjoyed the pancakes, but most of all, like you said, the thought is what really counts....
    Hope that your day is going well.

  2. what a beautiful story indeed and what a wonderful friend. It was not about the pancakes at all...I totally get that!!..As a caregiver myself it is just the occasional need to be felt a little special by someone in the world. You do so much and just once in a while would like someone to respond to a need you have....thanks for sharing this also gained a very special friend in this poll...makes me want to ask for pancakes myself:)

  3. I know someone would bring you pancakes. I am so happy. Now it is my turn where mine? just kiddning. Eat up . You deserve it.