Sunday, December 27, 2009

Starting Over?

(AGAIN)

On caregiving.com, Denise posted a blog for today about starting over each day, and steps to help us do that, "When Starting Over Seems Like a Daily Duty, 10 Steps to a New Beginning".  The first thing I thought of about starting over was how I have had to start over with new nurses repeatedly.  I have shared about some of my experiences with this in other blogs.  Since we started with hospice, mother and I have gone through three nurses, we have a fill in nurse, Michael, who is terrific.  I am concerned about burn out with him becasue of the work load that he is given everyday. 
Mom's first nurse was Mary, I have written about her.  The irreplaceable Mary.  The second nurse, was a temporary fill in, she was great too, we had a good relationship.  But she was temporary while they trained the next nurse.  The "permanent" nurse came in knowing my complaints and concerns, and promising to do above and beyond to make us (me) happy.  Now apparently she is gone, family situations have pulled her away.  These things are never communicated to me directly from the office, I have dig for info myself or come to my own conclusions about them.  So, we are without a nurse again, except for ever faithful Michael, and waiting for someone else to tell the tales to and get acclamated to.  Michael was concerned I would be upset at losing this nurse and he put his hands on my shoulders, and I told him, "I have no more attachments Michael, since Mary has been gone, I learned my lesson and I am not allowing myself to get attached again".  He was relieved at that point, he knew I had had a meltdown when I found out Mary wasn't coming back.
Ok, what was the point of all this?  Ah yes, starting over.  My prescription for starting over with yet another nurse, don't get attached...don't share about family...don't ask about her family... just stick to the medical facts concerning mom....nothing more...then attachments and relationships aren't developed just to be severed.

Note:
Now this is just for me...how I am feeling and thinking right now because of dealing with this situation.

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