Thursday, November 5, 2009

Fear Not

I wanted to expound a bit on being afraid of mom falling again, that I was doing everything for her. I had read an article, plus also realized that I was doing her no good by doing so much for her. To keep her strength up, to keep her dexterity, to keep her mind thinking, I needed to let her do as much as she possibly could for herself. So, I rearranged her room, giving her just enough area to move in from her bed to her potty. I always had a monitor on when she was in her room.

In the first weeks of caring for her, when she needed help all we would hear is, "Is anybody out there, is somebody out there?" all hours of the day and night! This would send me jumping and running to her assistance. By letting her have some of her independence back, it helped her feel she wasn't so old and helpless, and it gave me more rest and peace of mind...and peace in the house! She would get up when she needed to, maybe 1 to 3 times a night, and only called if she needed help, which wasn't that often. It helped my nights to be more restful and days as well.

This is all a learning process. There are many books to read on caregiving, and online articles as well, all have been a help to me, but each situation of parent care is different, and must be learned through trial and error. There have been many times that I thought I knew what to do, I had everything under control....wrong. I had to admit to myself that I didn't have it all under control and needed to make changes. Glad I had done that. She would get up as often as needed, dress and undress herself, and toilet herself, it had all greatly improved. She also began to sleep more at night then she had been. I think it had taken all those months of being on an actual schedule, that would allow her to actually get more sleep. So, after a year, I was still wearing that 'caregiver coat', and the pockets were stuffed with notes of 'did this wrong' or 'did this right'.

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